THINGS I APPRECIATE BEING SINGLE

Are you in the primetime of your life and still single?  Welcome to the club then!

I know it’s not easy to be single when we are getting older especially with the likes of me who is picky. 

Oh well, I have a good life and I am having fun.  If I let someone in, it must have that “awesome” feeling.  Sparks, chemistry, excitement and thrills should be there.

In over two years that I’ve been single, I found only one that qualifies in that category, aka Mr. Clouds. However, for some reasons we are not meant to be together.   

But that doesn’t mean I will be miserable being single.  Having said that, I’ll share to you things I appreciate being single.

1.     I CAN DO THINGS I USED TO DO: 

A simple example is the type of music I listen. With a partner around the house I have to adjust. But now that I am single from pop music to rock I can tune up the volume as loud as I want and dance while cleaning my room without someone telling me to be sensitive.   Or during my day off, I don’t have to wake up before lunch to prepare food. I can sleep the whole day until I get hungry and no pressure of getting dressed. I can just put my shorts and shirt on, go down to any restaurant, eat and go back to sleep, nobody bothers me.

2.       I CAN SOCIALIZE SPONTANEOUSLY WITH FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES:

After work, I can call friends or colleagues without making prior schedule and go out with them. With a partner, if my colleagues asked me out, I often say no because I have to consider the other person.  Maybe the invitation was just for me or if he was invited, I don’t want him to feel awkward that he can’t understand our terminologies at work.

3.       I CAN BE VOCAL IN COMPLIMENTING OTHER PEOPLE

I am a very friendly person. As sassy as I am, I love to throw compliments to people. Imagine how my partner would feel if I tell someone sitting next to me in the pub he has cute eyes. It would be a long story that will end up in argument I am sure.  But being single gives me a license to just compliment everyone whatever nice things I saw. In Hoi An Old Quarter once, a traveler approached me to ask an address written in a piece of paper and after guiding him, with a sweet smile I said, “nice shoes by the way”.  It was very obvious that the shoes were made in Hoi An, so I just throw a bait actually.  He took the bait.  He looked at me with a smile, chatted a little bit about it then he threw an invitation for coffee. I can’t do that if I am with someone, can I?  It’s a nice feeling. The art of compliments which has a power to attract people.

4.     

      I  CAN BE LUXURIOUS  WITH  MY TIME TO WORK OUT

I can hang around in the gym until it closes without thinking someone is waiting for me.  I don’t have to skip Zumba just because I need to catch up.  So being single means no more painful criticism for being late.

5.       

          RECONNECT LOVING MYSELF, DATING MYSELF 

Now I have the so called “me time”.  I can date myself and enjoy whatever I wanted to do.   I can go out on a day trip by myself and I have the time to understand myself better. It makes being single more fun. A relationship is only as good as you invest, correct?  Now that I am single I invested my time to myself, so I am having good relationship with myself.  Here’s an example of having relationship with myself. I fall for aka Mr. Clouds but there’s no nasty pain when he left.  When he waved goodbye at the airport there was tightness in my throat. But I told myself, “oh. I still have myself”. Life moves on and I remember him in a good way. See how loving yourself helps in situation like that?  

These are just 5 out of the many things I can appreciate being single.

Trust me,  I had my share of long term relationship with a man and it’s easier to get destroyed in the absence of kids.  Simple arguments coupled with blaming each other if not resolve in a compromise manner, the word separation will never stop tagging along.  

Anyway, If you cannot prevent the word separation or divorce then you might as well practice living how to be single.    

Random Thoughts

Chocolates anyone?  I am having one now, so I thought I’ll be nice and invite you.

Anyway, I am in the mood to write my thoughts that’s why I’m being generous of posting my “trashes” here.  

This blog is my outlet when I am happy, sad, angry, crazy, emotional, has visited a destination on leisure or just being me.

It’s my blog, so I can talk rubbish and you don’t have to be nice to read it unless of course you are interested to know the “garbage” story of my life’s journey.

 

Curious what’s my trash story today?  

At work, I have what I called “fake days” and today was one of those. 

Big percentage of those fake days consists of handover days.  Why? It’s because I have to say “thank you” for the support and compliment the team I was working with even though it’s not how I feel or I don’t feel what I say.  

I have to leave, so I can’t utter a word of criticism.  Although sometimes I wanted to shout “I am glad I am out here! I can’t stand the way your mind works!” Oh, I love to say that sometimes.  

But this is a corporate world I have to be nice otherwise I can’t win respect, that’s why I called it “fake days.” 

                                               

Fake because I showed concerned when some people were worried. Fake because I joined in the sadness when some people expressed unhappiness just because they can’t see me every day anymore. 

Fake because I cheered with those who were happy that I won’t be bitching at them anymore.   Fake because I know it’s not how I feel. 

It’s not what I wanted to do.  You might be saying I am too hypocrite to say this but trust me I did several handovers already that I can’t feel anything anymore. 

Sometimes I even felt like throwing up thinking about the fake statements I have to say.  You can’t blame me my movement is quite fast that  hardened my feelings. It’s just work and I don’t put emotions to it.

For you to understand why I kept moving around, my boss has expanded the scope of his business and my role is to represent him, so it’s highly mobile. Wherever there is pre-opening, taking over slow performing assets, and risk management, I will be there. The shortest is one month where I have to cover when there’s no appointed leader yet.  I don’t have idea why I landed into this job when it’s not in my dream lists.  

But I am thankful for the opportunity anyway, except that it’s not easy with all the stress that goes with it.

The fact as well that it’s highly mobile also I can’t be consistent in building friendship.  Women friends, yeah loads but I can’t hardly had enough time chatting about shoes or dresses with them. Men friends, yeah many but oftentimes I can only go out for a chat once. The rest, I don’t have idea what went wrong why there’s no interest to see them again.  Some landed in my FB friends lists though.   

I can only remember one person that I was consistent with. It was with Mr. Clouds when I know he won’t stay long. 

Perhaps because we have common denominator, Halong and Hanoi?.  Or maybe because of the catch and play game? Oh well, Mr. Clouds, whatever it was, your charm worked well with me. 

 

Too flattering you looked for me after almost two years. But like a soap bubble, one touch you’re gone leaving behind the Hanoi playlists we both listened. Oh, so nice to remember your memories while listening to Bieber’s remix Despacito and Clean bandit’s Rockabye.   It lightened my day and made me smile.  

I remember the last words over coconut coffee smoothie, “see you when I see you” and I was tempted to answer “not when I see you first!” J           

Oh well, there’s my rubbish story. Putting my thoughts in writing, so when Alzheimer’s disease hit me one day I have something to read.     

“Life is short, break the rules”

Hello there, I am back again.

I actually just came from cinema where I’ve watched movie with aka Mr. Clouds once.  Then I remember I wrote something few weeks ago that I didn’t post.  I was having second thoughts of posting it because I am pouring my heart out and I don’t even know where he is now. Funny isn’t it?  

Oh well, that’s how crazy I can get when I like someone.  I am a strong believer of Mark Twain’s famous phrase, “life is short, break the rules”!

I had enough of depriving myself of happiness, so I might as well be selfish.  “Love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything” that made me smile.   He made me laugh and I felt special when I was with him.  It was only for quite a short period of time though but it was such a moment to cherish.  

Two months ago, I got a text message from an unknown number which was supposed to land in unattended inbox had it not been for the picture attached to it.

My heart leaped when I saw the familiar face of a friend whom I danced with during my surprised birthday party over a year ago.  I couldn’t believed he still had my number.  

We met for an afternoon coffee that extended to dinner and a movie. We parted past midnight and I thought I won’t see him again. But I was wrong, the one day was extended into over a month.

 It was a month of beautiful banter in life which composed of laughter, sweetness, thrills, excitement, dreams, wishes and what’s not.  I was like a teenager, a school kid with him.  We throw jokes that only us can understand. I found a chemistry electrifying all my senses which I didn’t know it exists.

Funny but even the lyrics of my favourite pop music suddenly become meaningful.

And it’s weird he was gone but I am not miserable remembering him. I still smile when something or any activities reminded me of him. It’s like the thrill is still there.

I had my share of painful separation in the past but being with him for a month I realize I am way over my grief and I didn’t know it until I played fire with him.

There was “no we” but it was the best days of my life. No regrets at all.

Life for me was all about work and networking party but having a short encounter with Mr. “Clouds” told me I am ready to open my heart again to someone I will meet in my journey. It took me over two years and an encounter with Mr. Clouds to realize I am healed.  

Thanks to him. 

Time healed the wounds but I didn’t know until Mr. Clouds left.  Everything happened for a reason I guess.

I thought, just as I was enjoying the course of life with Mr. Clouds and he had to go. 

Life is short when I am happy but life is too long when I am not, I think. 

To Mr. Clouds, wherever you are, thank you for making me feel very special and being loved.  The attention and care I get were enough compensation for how short our time was.  

And to everyone, do not judge me by my past because I don’t live there anymore. I broke the rules and what I got is a new me.  J